I have always loved music. Worship music is by far my favourite. I’m sure I was sung to while in the womb and I have early memories of my mom singing hymns to me as part of my bedtime routine. It was no surprise to me that God chose time and again to speak to me through the lyrics of songs that I listened to.

One song in particular that was released during the height of my struggle with infertility was called “Bring the Rain”, by MercyMe. If you’ve never heard it, I urge you to check it out. For now, here are the lyrics that penetrated and convicted my heart:

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Oh how my aching soul cried out at these words. I rebuffed them at first and then prayed that I could one day sing with sincerity the words that seemed so hard to accept: "Bring me anything that brings You glory”. Could my circumstances bring glory to God? Could my suffering and anguish really bring me closer to Christ?

Through being convicted by the Holy Spirit, I came to acknowledge that even if I didn’t mean the words now, I needed to sing them. I prayed for the day that I would mean them. I prayed for the day that would bring meaning to my pain. I needed a purpose for my journey and, mostly due to this moving song, I needed to know I had a reason to hope. I’m so thankful to God for putting the lyrics of this song into the songwriter’s head and into the mouths of MercyMe.

I am convinced that this song planted a seed in my spirit that has now, a decade later, come to fruition in this blog. The purpose in my heart-wrenching journey to become a mother was not to let my story sit idly by but to share it with anyone who needs to hear it and be encouraged by it. I pray that is you, dear friends. I pray that you are able to identify with my struggle and that you may be propelled in your faith to hope in what God has planned for you.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10